"This isn't supposed to happen. Something is cosmically misaligned," I told myself, as my face slipped into a position of, "Say it ain't so." But it was so: McDonald's was out of fries. While I've always thought (believe it or not) that if this ever happened, something spectacular and totally destructive (or worldwide anarchy) would follow, all the manger was capable of muttering was a long, drawly "Shiiiit..." Surprisingly, the windows didn't implode, the roof didn't collapse, no one drove their car into the building, the arches did not spontaneously combust, no guns were drawn, nor did a riotous crowd amass and block the doors and break the drive-thru menu. In fact, no one muttered a word.
It seems that when the utterly unexpected comes to pass, there is indeed nothing to do or say - except "Shiiiit..." What I did not anticipate, however, was the latency of the crew's response. Literally two by two, eyebrows were raised as each employee passed the empty fryers. What they were on their way to doing escapes me. How long does it take for a McDonald's to grind to a halt once it is discovered that the signature item was actually available for a limited time only (like the McRib - Hurry in!)? Seventeen minutes. Seventeen minutes later, I walked away with two cheeseburgers, a medium Diet Coke, and a dollar and change more from the partial refund. Amazing.
If the Cheesecake Factory served its last slice, would there be any more patrons? I would definitely dump my spaghetti on the floor in quiet disgust. My McDonald's did not close; instead of "Welcome-to-McDonald's-may-I-take-your-order?" the greeting morphed into "Welcome-to-McDonald's-may-I-take-your-order-oh-yeah-we-outta-fries." I love capitalism.
It would destroy my point to say that the customers continued to stream in and buy tepid meals, sans frites. Let me revise: I love consumers. ;-)
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7 comments:
My friend,
You should take a career up in writing. Your a prolific writer!
LTB
Thanks! I enjoy it very much, but I prefer to keep it as a hobby. I've found that turning hobbies into careers usually results in a bad career and a ruined hobby. I'm glad you enjoy my thoughts.
Oh, and I was hoping to avoid the admission that I once worked at one! lol
LOL, why would you not want to admit that you was a crew member at a macky d's? I think its something everyone should experience at least once!
Damn, that sounds very depressing....
What, no more blog?
Chris, my darling... I agree with anonymous (dude, you really should sign your name or something, it's strange calling you anonymous. and kind of creepy.)
Chris, I wish you would write more. I adore your blog (and you, of course) and miss your observations and thoughts. And hey, where's the entry you said you were working on? huh? huh? lol.
On another note, I can't believe the world didn't implode when there were no fries. It's unheard of. Yet more proof that we're living in the final days of earth. The end of the world is coming soon! Oh, and your post has made me hungry for MickyD's... Guess I should see if they have fries in Theodore!
Love ya!
me
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